Whatever this is it will never be made again
Small community grows, assumed to lead somewhere. The assumption that aspiration is to leave the community to bigger things. To build it stronger, ensuring we all get somewhere.
An idea is never more organic than the first stages. Where this idea goes is to be tread with caution. Is the basis of success the popularity of something? The higher price you can charge for people to view it?
Is it about having enough to make sure all participants get paid?
They are all brackets.
I question if they dictate success.
Phillip Glass created the Phillip Glass Ensemble as a collective and at one point was able to employ people from it, before he went on into solo works etc. they would play for hours until people fell asleep or left out of irritation. Everyone sat listening to challenging music. That’s an organic idea.
In many ways we’ve commercialized creativity through the want for it to prevent it from real work. You hear / see it in poems, music, film. When I was leaving university I was told a few times the work wasn’t commercially viable. »Try to make work about more general relatable things.« A teacher of mine once told me a good photographic project is determined by a good subject. So I photographed walls and my house because that was beautiful for me. I’ve ran from photography scenes. Running from poetry scenes. Running from comedy scenes. Because they all made me feel as though I was going to become a formula. Limiting creativity to what is the most successful route. In Berlin you can literally do anything. But there are still formulas of success.
I have a lot of paranoia around how people read the event / my work etc. before every show I have the feeling the numbers on the fb event won’t match the actual attendance. Worry I won’t be able to pay everyone if no one pays but find the idea of a door person oppressive to those with no money on them (me, all the time).
I don’t take money for the event because the money isn’t why I made the event. My primary concern is that everyone in the event feels a part of something, something challenging, fun, happy, sad - anything. Ideas to evolve in organic ways. A group of people who genuinely love being there. It makes me feel like we are all the definition of success. For all my feelings that I want to be well known or locally adored. Aspiring outside the city. I wonder. I came to Berlin with just my wage. The first few days I wanted to start my own event. Made up an art residency that people thought was real. All this stuff, everything, is made up. By us, humans.
I am really lucky that I can grow with all the creative family that I love completely, in good and bad times. We are all important and we are all successful. What does it even mean to make it?
It doesn’t exist beyond the idea.
We’re here. Making and exploring - that is making.
“Can’t stand for sloping sideways fall for free, 2019”. Courtesy of the artist.
“What, past journey will prep you to fail, 2019” Courtesy of the artist.
This text is written by Alexsandra Norton, a mysterious and sensitive girl and artist of every medium she decides, based in Berlin.